So the time actually came, he left traveled for a few days during which I was able to talk to him a ton! He could use facebook a lot while they were on bases that were safe for them, and I even got to Skype him today!
He has been so sweet about telling me he loves me every chance he gets, part of me thinks its making it harder because when he says good morning I'm just going to bed and every time it hits me that he is half way around the world! But the other part is so grateful for the past few days and hearing I love you at least a hundred times! I have started a list of things to send him although there is a small window of time I'll actually be able to send him anything. I have been planning our lives out for the mean time trying to stay busy. And making a list of things to do when he returns!
Here is a fun fact about Sean and I.... When we first dated he named my favorite stuffed animal for me. It is very odd but the stuffed monkey I sleep with every night has never had a name since I got it many years ago. I think it was the second or third time Sean came over to my house and we were sitting there talking and I told him that I was a little embarrassed that I still slept with a stuffed animal and that he didn't actually have a name. Sean took it upon himself to name it, his name is now George. (yes I realize that is the least creative name for a monkey ever but you got to love that he named it) It must have been fate that George didn't have a name because now every night when I go to bed in Sean's t-shits and cuddle George it is as close to him as I'll get for a while!
Anyways, saying goodbye was so difficult, it was a "goodbye I don't know when I'll get to talk to you again" goodbye which was so incredibly hard on me and him I'm sure. I had a major breakdown and as much as I wanted to tell him how badly I was hurting because he always knows how to make me feel better I just couldn't bring myself to telling him because I know it would break his heart to know I'm hurting so badly. Staying strong for him while he is out there is the least I can do for everything he has ever done for me. God knows he is staying strong for me!
It's always been you....
xoxo Shanna
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